Jason Stratham doesn't seem to have been in anything decent since Snatch.  The Transporter you say?  Don't you remember that scene where the missile ricochets off a tray he is holding? 

This film looked like it would be quite entertaining - Speed set within the human body.  Stratham stars as Chev a hitman who has been given a concoction of Chinese drugs designed to inflict swift death.  Chev discovers though that adrenaline can prolong his life.  So, keep moving, stay alive, as in everybody's favourite fast bus movie.  Chev vows to kill the man who injected him so races around, staying excited, trying to find him.  I can't really say anymore without giving what little plot there is away.  It had an interesting ending that had a glaring continuity error - the helicopter was barely above the tops of the buildings yet when someone fell from it they fell for about 3 kilometres. 

In terms of visual styling this film was rather interesting, people that they were speaking to on the telephone were shown in the car mirrors; a building bulged like in a cartoon during a bar room brawl; shots were filmed through the grill on a microwave door etc.  This is mainly what was going to give the film a three pig rating.  However, when Chev met up with girlfriend Eve the movie took a nosedive.  Eve is played by the ironically named Amy Smart.  Smart seems only to ever play whores and dumbasses.  Here she combined the two to play one of the most infuriating characters on film.  She was so vacant and when running from gangsters with guns she is concerned that her lippy and tampons and what-not have fallen out of her handbag.  It was the sex scene that was the clincher, quite, quite stupid.  "Oooh my adrenaline levels, lets have sex in the markeplace."  Chev tries to get Eve to have sex with him in front of hundreds of people.  She refuses and tries to get away - she is almost being raped yet the marketgoers just stand there.  Then, when her shirt rips open she's on and they go for in and everyone stands around thinking it is a great joke.  SO IRRITATINGLY DUMB. 

The film really tried far too hard to be edgy, what with practically every woman in the film being a slapper, drug taking, gangsta living and a tranny friend (played by Efren Ramirez - Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite).  Why was he a transvestite?  No reason at all.  Gracious. 

So, the film started out promisingly but the whiff of trying too hard and the lingering stench of stupid stupid girlfriend and diabolical sex scene tainted this viewers nostrils.

 

I have just about had a little cry.  I have my latest batch of assignments due on Friday and I had just finished one - a religious interpretation on the Grimm tale Jorinda and Joringel.  I was feeling jolly proud of my efforts, I thought I had done a really good job of it and that meant I only had two assignments left!  Hurrah!

Alas, I later discovered that I had saved over this fabulous piece of work with another, crappy, short, assignment.  I use the same file over and over as a template due to silly page layouts that are required that I can't be bothered to set each time and then, as soon as a change is made to the previous essay, I save the new file with a different name (I didn't explain that very well).  Well, it turns out that the out proverb is true, pride comes before a fall as, in my glee, I had neglected to rename the file after deleting my beautiful three page essay.  I know it wasn't the hugest essay ever but it is 10.20pm, I have that to rewrite and another to do, I have work in the morning and I really can't be bothered!

Woe is me.